a chick with sticks (and a computer): 32 weeks and COUNTING

Okay, I'm not going to lie to you--stress levels around my house have been a wee bit HIGH lately. There's really not a lot of time to go before this baby arrives, and in that time, I have to write a whole 'nother book! A short, paperback one, yes, but even that is pretty hard when your brain is being held hostage by your hormones, not to mention your two-year-old, who, perhaps sensing the seismic shift her world is about to undergo, is being just a tiny bit DEMANDING lately. As in, "I want cookies in a BOWL. Not THAT bowl, the other bowl. You know, the OTHER one. No, the OTHERRRRR ONNNNEEE. Um, never mind. I don't want a bowl, I want a BAG. No, not THAT one. . ."

There are things I want to do before Plum arrives, tiny things really--write some thank you notes, knit a going-home-from-the-hospital beanie, organize LaLa photos--but I'm so huge and addled that these projects seem IMPOSSIBLE. At least without the help of a lot of chocolate which I TOTALLY CANNOT EAT BECAUSE I HAVE GESTATIONAL DIABETES. Which is getting harder and harder to control, btw.

And I'm still in denial about the fact that I actually have to GIVE BIRTH to this baby. Giving birth, as you might have heard or read, can be a sort of BIG DEAL for which many people prepare exhaustively, practicing breathing and positions and making birth plans and stuff. I, of course, have done nothing because I'm in denial that it will ever actually happen. Yeah, yeah, I know I did it once already but it's still hard to wrap your mind around the fact that an ACTUAL PERSON IS GOING TO COME OUT OF YOUR BODY. It never stops being a little bizarro, no matter how many times you do it, no? Or is that just me?

Some things have helped. I went to see a nice dietitian last week who said, 'You're not eating enough. You need way more carbs." Yippee! And when I told her I'd done some internet reading about glycemic indexes and thus, had cut low-fat ice cream from my menu plan, not only did she give me permission to eat it (in half-cup servings, of course) she said, "It's dairy! You need the calcium and protein." I lurve her!

I've also let Diet Coke back into my life. The kind with Splenda, which fetuses seem to prefer to aspartame, and like, only half-a-can a day. Judge me if you will, pregnancy purists. I don't care. My afternoon treat of diet coke on crushed ice makes me SO happy. The baby jumps for joy when I drink it, too. Perhaps s/he likes the bubbles. (Okay, okay, I know it's the caffeine. But hello, this kid is already going to be short and probably kind of hyper and neurotic. It's in the genes. So I figure a little caffeine won't make any difference. ;-)

What else helps get me through these lumbering, hungry, have-to-pee-every-five-minutes days? Visions of my baby, of course! Not only can I not wait to meet this little creature, whom I expect to be just like its big sister and totally different from its big sister, but I can't help but think--if I can just get through this book, these last weeks of dieting and blood-testing and doctor appointments and yes, even the birth--that I will then take a three month (or so) maternity leave, which sounds an awful lot like VACATION. I know, I know, it's not. I know taking care of two little kiddies is a huge responsibility and can be REALLY difficult, especially when you never sleep more than two hours at a time and, oh yeah, feed your baby with your BREASTS.

It is no vacation, but it IS an amazing, joyful, crazy time, those first weeks with a new baby. It's also, shall we say, not the most intellectually taxing time in one's life. My priorities will be pretty much boiled down to a few simple edicts: keep myself and my children fed, dressed in clean clothes, and reasonably presentable. Keep house clean, if not pretty. Sleep at every opportunity. Make it to doctor appointments and take LaLa to preschool two days a week. Cuddle, kiss and coo at children constantly. Play with LaLa every chance I get. Try not to neglect Husband TOO much. Everything else--writing, social obligations, making the bed, working off the baby weight, keeping up with the news, having people over for dinner, doing house projects, etc. etc. etc.--will just get put on the shelf for a while, if I kindly let myself do that.

At this point, I'm more than willing to. And that's what going to get me through these last weeks before, once again, life changes forever. I'm ready.

Except for the whole giving birth part, of course.

xoxo

Elizabeth